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South Park episode
"Woodland Critter Christmas"
Stan's new friends visit him.
Episode no.	125
Airdate	December 15, 2004
South Park - Season 8 March 17, 2004 – December 15, 2004
Good Times with Weapons Up the Down Steroid The Passion of the Jew You Got F'd in the A AWESOM-O The Jeffersons Goobacks Douche and Turd Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes Pre-School Quest for Ratings Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset Cartman's Incredible Gift Woodland Critter Christmas
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"Woodland Critter Christmas" is episode 814 of the Comedy Central series South Park, and originally aired December 15, 2004. It was that season's Christmas episode.

This episode, which like many Christmas shows has an anapestic rhyming narration and story-book style, begins in the forest, where "the boy in a red poof-ball hat"---a.k.a. Stan---discovers a group of talking animals building a Christmas tree. They convince a confused Stan to help make a star for their tree before he goes home. That night, they wake him in his room and explain that one of the animals, a porcupine named Porcupiny, is pregnant with the creatures' Savior. Stan agrees to help them build a manger for the baby. They then enlist his help against another problem: every year, they explain, one of the animals conceives their Savior, but every time a mountain lion kills it. They insist that Stan is the only one capable of helping them. Exasperated, Stan manages to kill the beast, but discovers with horror that the lion was the mother of three now-orphaned cubs. He is further dismayed when he discovers that the woodland critters are, in fact, Satan worshipers, and that their Savior is actually the Antichrist, not an animalistic Son of God. (The animals point out that this is obvious, because God would never have sex with a porcupine) The animals celebrate by sacrificing Rabbitty the Rabbit and having a "blood orgy," (the pregnant porcupine included).

The episode has special bumpers, announcing it to be "A Woodland Critter Christmas," with Squirrelly then saying in a cheerful voice, "Hail Satan!"

Stan tries to stop the animals himself, but they rebuff him with their Satanic powers, cheerfully conjuring up fire and demonic beasts. After he learns that only a mountain lion can kill the Antichrist, Stan returns to the mountains to enlist the orphaned cubs, and takes them to an abortion doctor to teach them how to kill unborn babies (against his will--the narrator forces him to). Meanwhile, the animals are searching for a human host for the Antichrist to possess when born—the person in question must be a non-baptized non-Christian. They discover Kyle, who is Jewish, and kidnap him to serve their purpose.

Stan arrives in time to discover that the Antichrist—a strange, vicious little creature—has already been born, and that his best friend Kyle is tied to a Satanic altar to receive the evil creature. Santa Claus suddenly arrives and, when he finds out what is happening, pulls out an SPAS-12 combat shotgun and kills all the creatures. He is about to kill the Antichrist, but Kyle—now free from the altar—declares that he wants the Antichrist to possess him, so that he can make a world run by the Jews. He allows the demon to possess him, and is about to unleash a devastating blow on the world when...

...the story suddenly cuts away to Mr. Garrison's fourth-grade class, with Cartman reading a Christmas story he wrote for the class—the entire episode so far—and Kyle angrily objecting that Cartman is just trying to mock him for being Jewish at Christmas time again. Mr. Garrison, fearing complaints from Kyle's mother, forces Cartman to stop. The other boys, however, plead with Kyle to let Cartman continue because they want to hear the ending; Cartman claims that Kyle's theory, that he would simply be killed by Santa to save the holidays, is incorrect. Kyle finally relents, and Cartman continues.

Back in the story, Kyle suddenly declares that he can now feel how evil the Antichrist is and wants it out; Santa, however, says that they have no choice but to kill Kyle, before the Antichrist can consume his soul and unleash his reign of terror. Stan, however, has the mountain lion cubs perform an abortion on Kyle's ass, removing the Antichrist before Santa smashes it with a sledgehammer. Santa gives Stan a special Christmas wish, which Stan uses to restore the mountain lion he killed to life. They then go home to a happy Christmas.

Cartman ends his story saying that everybody lives happily ever after....except for Kyle, who died of AIDS two weeks later. The words "The End" are shown on the screen and Kyle's angry voice is heard saying, "God dammit, Cartman!"

• According to this episode's mini commentary, this episode was one of the most difficult to make. After making the feature film Team America and the 13 other episodes in South Park's 8th season in the same year (a year which Trey Parker and Matt Stone describe as "The Year from Hell"), Parker, Stone and the show's other writers were completely drained of ideas. The staff tried to come up with an idea, but nothing came up through Thursday and Friday which is considered a huge drawback with South Park's rushed production. On Saturday afternoon the staff decided to just do the idea of spoofing John Denver's Critter Christmas holiday special, which had been in gestation for some time. With some doubt, the show developed into an episode which the creators were quite satisfied with.

• Despite having been sacrificed earlier, Rabbity can be seen once in a later shot.

• Initially the animals claim Porcupiny was a virgin when the Savior was conceived; later they claim Satan had sex with her. They also confused the Immaculate Conception with the Virgin Birth.
• The "blood-red moon" is a reference to Revelation 6:12.
• According to the South Park commentary with Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the blood orgy is a reference to the science fiction film Event Horizon.
• The scene where the mountain lion falls off the cliff resembles a similar scene in Lion King.
• When the animals use their Satanic powers, "Ave Satani" ("Hail Satan," the theme song to The Omen) plays in the background.
• When Santa Claus draws a shotgun and begins firing on the critters, the music of "Adrenaline Horror" from the Half-Life soundtrack plays briefly.
• When Stan is watching TV, "The Jeffersons" theme song is playing.

Preceded by "Cartman's Incredible Gift"

South Park episodes

Followed by "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina"