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"The One with Rachel's Book" is the second episode of the seventh season of the television series Friends.

First aired: October 12, 2000

Monica and Rachel begin planning Monica and Chandler's wedding, using Monica's Wedding Book which she has kept since she was a child, with locations for the wedding listed alphabetically, by geographic location and by size, along with ideas for the wedding dress, centerpieces and food to serve at the reception.

Joey complains about the noise they are making as he is trying to take a nap on the couch. When they ask why he is sleeping on their couch instead of his own, he tries to cover up the fact that his pet duck ate some of Rachel's face cream and is being ill all over the apartment. He finally gives in and goes across the hall, but upon finding the duck being sick in his room, he tries to sleep in Rachel's instead. However, under the covers of her bed, he finds an erotic romance novel about Zelda, the vicar's daughter, who falls in love with a chimney sweep and quickly pokes fun at Rachel when she comes in.

Phoebe asks Ross if she can stay with him for a few days to give Monica and Chandler some time alone, but they soon fall out over Phoebe letting massage clients into Ross's apartment -- until a beautiful woman comes to the door asking for a massage when Phoebe isn't there. Ross is quick to say he's a professional massuese, but he soon realises the massage is actually for the woman's elderly father. Disgusted, he tries to perform the massage with wooden spoons and chop sticks and the man, thinking it's the strangest massage he's ever had, complains to Phoebe and refuses to go back.

Meanwhile, Monica and Chandler have dinner with Monica's parents. When she asks them for the money they have supposedly saved for her wedding, they admit that they spent it on their beach house, claiming they thought she'd finance it herself when she turned thirty. Outraged, Monica points out that they bought the beach house when she was twenty-three, and her parents finally confess they didn't think she was going to get married and especially not to Chandler. Monica is devastated that she won't be able to afford her dream wedding. Chandler tells her he's been saving some money for the past six years and they could spend some of it on the wedding. He writes the figure on a piece of paper and Monica happily announces she can afford 'Wedding Plan A' with the budget. Chandler, however, doesn't want to spend the full amount as he wants it to go towards their future. They argue about their wedding plans, and Chandler finally relents, saying when he asked her to marry him, he promised to make her happy. However, he tells her what his plans for the future were: a house out of the city, four kids, a cat with a bell on its collar, and an apartment over the garage where Joey could grow old. Monica decides that's what she wants too; not just a wedding, but a marriage.

Rachel is growing sick of Joey teasing her about her erotic novel. He comes out of his bedroom in full goalie gear, believing that's what a vicar is, and when Rachel snaps at him, he claims he will make it up to her by taking her roughly in the barn. Rachel finally scares him off the subject by agreeing to it, pretending to come on to him until he finally drops the subject altogether.

Jack Geller - Elliott Gould
Judy Geller - Christina Pickles