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“The Entity”
South Park episode
Kyle meets his cousin.
Episode no.	Season 5 Episode 76
Written by	Trey Parker
Directed by	Trey Parker
Production no.	511
Original airdate	November 21, 2001
Season 5 episodes
South Park - Season 5 June 20, 2001 – December 12, 2001
Scott Tenorman Must Die It Hits the Fan Cripple Fight Super Best Friends Terrance and Phillip: Behind the Blow Cartmanland Proper Condom Use Towelie Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants How to Eat with Your Butt The Entity Here Comes the Neighborhood Kenny Dies Butters' Very Own Episode
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List of South Park episodes

"The Entity" is episode 511 of the Comedy Central series South Park. It originally aired on November 21, 2001

In the episode, Kyle's cousin, Kyle Schwartz from Connecticut, comes to live in South Park due to his mothers ailing health back in Connecticut. While Kyle was initially excited about seeing his cousin for the first time, he is shocked to see that he is an overly-stereotyped version of a Jew (e.g., constantly complaining about everything, highly sensitive to the dryness of the air, allergic to most meats excluding fish, and penny-pinching in nature). Kyle is told by his mother to take care of his cousin, but the children all soon realize that Kyle's cousin is just too annoying to live in South Park with them. Much of this episode then goes on to have the boys constantly trying to get rid of Kyle's cousin, by tying him to the back of a bus while he is on a sled, tricking him onto a plane to Antarctica, etc. However, Kyle's cousin always finds a way to come back to South Park. At one point of the episode when the boys are at school, Kyles cousin is caught disrupting the class so the teacher tells him to concentrate. Cartman then shouts out that he should be sent to a concentration camp after Kyle had strictly told (and paid) him not to make fun of his cousin.

Meanwhile, Mr. Garrison, tired of the inefficient and frustrating airline check-ins, decides to invent his own vehicle. Inspired by watching singer Enrique Iglesias' sexualized singing on TV and by gyroscopes, he invents the gyroscope-powered monowheel "IT" (supposedly a parody of the Segway, which was code-named "IT", although this episode aired before the unveiling of the Segway Scooter). "IT" can go up to two hundred miles per hour, gets three hundred miles to the gallon, and is an all-around better mode of travel. The only problem is that it is controlled by an uncomfortable method; using four "flexi-grip handles" that somewhat resemble erect penises; two used by the hands, one in the mouth, and a fourth handle which is inserted into the anus. Despite this unorthodox control mechanism (which is uncomfortable to everyone except Mr. Garrison and elderly women), it is still considered better than the airlines and Mr. Garrison is a smashing success. Even aviation enthusiast John Travolta decides that "IT" "beats dealing with the airline companies."

However the government decides to bail out the airlines from going under because of "IT". To ensure the airlines dominance as a mode of transport, the government ends up outlawing "IT" and makes using it a criminal act (it also transpires that the vehicle can be operated with buttons too, making the phallus-like controls an unnecessary discomfort). As a result, Kyle's cousin, who had invested in "IT", gets a $5,000,000 bail-out payment and decides to return home to Connecticut to take care of his sick mother. Because of this new found wealth, the boys suddenly change their plan and try to get him to stay in South Park. To their surprise, Kyle's cousin says that he wants to leave because they are "douchebags" and calls them rednecks out of a "stereotype catalog". He ultimately leaves, dashing their chances to share in his new wealth. Cartman blames Kyle for his departure, saying "Good job, Jew!" just before the episode ends.

John Travolta riding "IT".

• Kenny dies when an airport security guard shoots him for carrying nail clippers to the airport. Kyle and Stan do not say their usual lines, though Kyle Schwartz screams "Oh Jesus!".

• When Mr. Garrison introduces "IT", Bill Gates can be seen with a hole in his forehead and a band-aid over it, a reference to Bill Gates having been shot in the head in South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut.