Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

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Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo film poster
Directed by Mike Bigelow
Produced by John Schneider
Written by Harris Goldberg,
Rob Schneider,
David Garrett,
Jason Ward
Starring Rob Schneider,
Eddie Griffin,
Jeroen Krabbé
Til Schweiger
Distributed by Columbia Pictures
Release date(s) August 6, 2005
Running time 83 minutes
Language English
Budget ~ US$22,000,000
IMDb profile

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo (2005) is the sequel to the 1999 film Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo. Rob Schneider stars as Deuce Bigalow, a male prostitute who must go to Europe to help his pimp T.J., played by Eddie Griffin, find a murderer who is killing the greatest male prostitutes of Europe. Film critic Roger Ebert includes the movie in his most hated films list.

Contents

Spoiler warning: Plot and/or ending details follow.

Gigolos in Europe are being terrorized by a serial killer. In Malibu, Deuce's wife is dead from a shark attack. Deuce is called up by T.J. Hicks, his former pimp, who invites him to come to Amsterdam where T.J. is pimping. Deuce goes because he is suspected of complicity in some dolphin-related injuries in Malibu.

When he gets to Amsterdam, T.J. shows him his boat, or "float crib," which has water in the cabin. They go to a coffee shop where T.J. tricks Deuce into getting high on space cake. Deuce looks at a wall painting and has an audio-visual hallucination of a maiden who tells him the hilarious details of what turns her on. Also at the coffee shop, T.J. and Deuce run into Heinz Hummer, the "gigolo with the most below."

After leaving the coffee shop, Deuce finds Heinz Hummer dead in an alley, but thinks he is just "wasted." Deuce takes the dead gigolo to T.J.'s float crib, where T.J. states that Heinz is dead. After he is seen dumping the body with Heinz Hummer's zipper open (in a harmless but terribly timed attempt to confirm rumors that he is "extremely large"), T.J. is portrayed in the media as a gay gigolo killer. At least he escapes. Deuce, on the other hand, is apprehended and taken to the police station where he is interviewed by Gaspar, who wants to know where T.J. is hiding.

After being released, Deuce finds T.J. at a chicken 'n' waffles restaurant, and T.J. claims Deuce is racist for figuring out that he would be at "the only chicken 'n' waffles place in all of Holland." After they leave the restaurant, Deuce recalls that he saw the real killer walking away from Heinz Hummer's body. Deuce says it was a woman, so they both figure it was a she-john, a former client of the murdered gigolos.

T.J. convinces Deuce to help find the real killer by becoming a gigolo again and visiting the former clients and root out the killer. They attend a meeting of the Royal Order Of European Man Whores (an organization of male prostitutes), but fail to attain a list of the clients. Afterwards, they get the list from Antoine, the professional gigolo who appeared in Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo.

Deuce and T.J. visit the first client on the list. Deuce is forced to dress himself in diapers while T.J. breaks in and searches for evidence. T.J. finds lipstick which might be the kind found on all the victims. After leaving, Deuce finds Gaspar on the street and shows him the lipstick. Gaspar throws the lipstick in the trash, saying that the lipstick found on the victims "is a very rare one: Lavender Love #66."

As Gaspar enters the police station, his niece, Eva, approaches him and gives him his lunch, which he forgot. Gaspar sneezes on his way inside, and Eva slaps herself three times. Deuce helps her pick up the things she dropped and Eva explains to Deuce that she has obsessive-compulsive disorder. Deuce, a fish enthusiast, sees that she has a painting of a fish, so they go to the Amsterdam aquarium together.

At the aquarium, Deuce has an argument with a cigarette-smoking Frenchman who repeatedly insults Deuce while mocking Americans and making advances on Eva. Deuce eventually puts the uppity Frenchman in his place and him and Eva leave the park because Eva has to get to work. To his horror, Deuce discovers that Eva works in the pornographic film industry, having heard women moaning inside the building he left her at as well as the line of partially clad men waiting outside. Deuce rushes inside only to find that Eva is merely a set designer, and not a performer.

Deuce continues to investigate different women from Antoine's book, which include a woman who was born near Chernobyl and has a penis for a nose, a hunchbacked woman, a woman with a tracheotomy, and a woman with gigantic ears. As typical of Deuce, he tries various methods of helping these women feel more comfortable about their disfigurements. He has the hunchbacked woman wear a cut-open backpack which hides her hump, gets the woman with a tracheotomy a job as an airport announcer and takes the woman with the penis for a nose and the woman with the huge ears to a plastic surgery clinic. However, both come out with the same disfigurement, having opted for breast enhancement surgery instead.

While visiting Eva, Deuce is snooping around and finds clothing similar to the one wore by the killer he saw the night Heinz Hummer died, as well as the Lavender Love #66 lipstick. Deuce rushes to the police department and tells Gaspar that he thinks that Eva is the man-whore killer. Gaspar is reluctant to believe this, and even drops many hints that he himself is the man-whore killer which Deuce does not comprehend.

Gaspar goes home to see Eva, who has uncovered the fact that he is the man-whore killer. He locks Eva inside his room, knowing that she cannot use doorknobs. Deuce rides with Gaspar to the Man-Whore Awards Ceremony under the guise of protecting the male prostitutes there. However, to Gaspar's surprise Eva is chasing them on a motorbike, shouting at Deuce that Gaspar is the killer. Gaspar pulls out a gun on Deuce and procedes to tell him a story that, once, he was a man-whore hopeful and that while observing a demonstration on how to perform a certain sex act one of his classmates offers to let him use his penis-enlargement pump. While pumping, the demonstration ends and Gaspar is horrifed to learn that the woman the sex act was being performed on was his fiance and is so angry he continues to pump until his penis explodes. He blames man-whores for the loss of his fiance and his penis, and plans to blow them all up at the ceremony.

At the ceremony, Deuce manages to evacuate the building by saying he is the man-whore killer and that he has a bomb. Deuce and Gaspar then have a sword fight with penis-shaped swords. Gaspar ultimately beats Deuce, but before he can run Deuce through he is interrupted by the woman with a penis for a nose and the woman with a tracheotomy, who sprays a liquid at Gaspar temporarily blinding him. Deuce them picks up one of the scattered award trophies littering the floor and clobbers Gaspar in the back of the head, knocking him out cold and taking the bomb detonator from him.

For his bravery, Deuce is given the Golden Boner award and the respect of his fellow man-whores. He shares a passionate kiss with Eva, and accidentally sets off the bomb with the statue's penis bumps the detonator button. Deuce and Eva then promptly leave the scene. The next day Deuce and Eva come to pick up T.J., who was released from jail after being captured after an earlier murder, and tells him that he is entering a brand new prostitution market; gay man-whoring. Deuce then treats the two to some food at the Chicken & Waffle restaurant and they walk off as the screen fades black.

Roger Ebert gave this film a very rare "zero star" rating, ranking it as the worst film of 2005. He also chastised Rob Schneider for his overly-zealous defense of the series, referring to an incident in which a Los Angeles Times critic called Schneider a "third-rate comic"; Schneider responded by calling the Times critic a "third-rate, unfunny pompous reporter" in a full-page open letter published in Daily Variety and the Hollywood Reporter. Ebert includes this movie in his most hated films list. On Ebert & Roeper, Richard Roeper called the film "the cinematic equivalent of a bunch of 13 year old boys in a locker room repeating dirty phrases they've just learned."

Michael Medved also gave the film "0 stars", calling it "painfully unfunny" and saying "there's not a single laugh anywhere in this rancid, wretched, train-wreck [of a film]" [1]

Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo became the lowest earning picture of 2005 for films opening at over 3,000 theatres, making only 22.4 million dollars.

Five nominations:

  • Worst Picture
  • Worst Screenplay
  • Worst Remake or Sequel
  • Worst Actor (Rob Schneider)
  • Worst Screen Couple (Rob Schneider & his diapers)

One Award:

  • Worst Actor (Rob Schneider)

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